take a breather

You ever realize life has caught up to you and you prety much realize it all in one moment? crazy isn't it? And now I go " phew" and "sigh" ( a really big sigh....more of a phew or whew or a aghhhhh or maybe even a WHOOAAAA probably)

The Lil' guy

We drove down to colorado springs todayto go to Jr's 1 year old b-day party. We had a good time and got to spend time with my sister and her husband (my brother). It was good. Now one of thier kids (my niece) is here with us until tomorrow when they come into town. long story but anyway, it's been a long day. Went to a freind's b-day party today and played kickball and baseball then we ate some sub sandwiches from wal mart and party hardy'd. It was her 11 th birthday. She's awesome and a blessing to our lives....her whole family is. It's pretty much them and us here in Denver. Not much else.

I've got a career decision to make right now. Please pray that I make the right one for my entire family.

Rough Morning - Letting Go

I get really sentimental about stupid things.....Here I am changing users permissions from a an application and I kept recieving errors. I looked at the error and realized that it was saying that one or two of the users permissions i was trying to change could not be modified due to thier account(s) no longer being valid. I saw the names one at a time and first was ok with it. Not a big deal right? Just someone who moved on? Well, then it hit me....I realized at this specific location (client) that employees have been let go due to a recent acquisition here. I started to wonder if one or more of those users left due to being forced to go. Some of the employees had been with theis specific company for over 15 years and were suddenly given the option to move to the other side of the country to the new office headquarters or to leave. Some moved. Some left. Dreams were shattered and lives were momentarily torn. I believe like most things in life that if someone's day to day life was shattered from a loss of a job that usually they get back on thier feet allright. Maybe they have money in savings and don't feel the sting at all. Then again, the ones I can't help thinking about ar the poor people who have no plan,no real substantial amount of money in the bank or any back-up job or whatever. and the one's i think about even more are the one's that take it personal, the one's that can't let go. The one's that sit there staring at the wall wondering what value they have left in thier life.

When I think of this I get sad, and I feel bad for them because I've been there. Not so much with the "losing a job" part but with the emotional devastation of feeling like you messed up or that you aren't good enough or wondering what you are going to do next. Now, when I start to think like that I pray and i wait patiently.

5 years ago i would freak out or maybe even run to the nearest payday advance place only to find in 2-4 weeks I was playing catch up more than I was beofre due to that stupid choice....

Life is about choices....where are you going to be in 10 years from now? Working in the same factory doing the same thing you've done forever or are you going to be doing what you like doing and working from a home office;taking the kids to the park and trying to make up time with the wife?....

So much to think about.

Update - 3/11/15 - I just read this. About a year and a half after writing this original post I was laid off from that position. Interested, eh?

little tree red

Newest photo manip. All of my photo manipulations are available to view on my study or living room wall :) or for sale if you are not able to come see them in person.

Too all my freinds/family - I love each and one of you dearly. Thank you for putting up with me when I don't show it and when I deserve a good slap in the face instead....
http://www.joethebro.etsy.com

Family

I have family coming over today. They're driving up from the springs... This has never happened in this home before,... we're renting but for us it's our first home rent or own and it's special. Now, to have family coming up to visit for "Family Night" is even more special... I feel excited and nervous and happy all at the same time. I love my family and realize we all have issues but I pray every day that I not be on of the m problems... then I see the post I did earlier about the lady dying with cancer and it makes me rethink everything all over again.

I just want what I am to be "enough"...

Am I enough?

I look at all of my problems... all of my faults and I wonder how can I be good enough to be here,.... leading a youth group in the middle of slums and hoodlums? How can god use someone like me to be a leader when all my life I've rebelled against leadership? How can I be an example when I'm screwed up so much already and will continue to make mistakes?

I was thinking this and I realized.... We ALL make mistakes and are not perfect but it's getting up, it's praying and asking for guidance and help,... and learning from those mistakes that makes a difference. It's about accepting you said something wrong the day before or realizing you lost your cool but not doing it again when the situation hits you..if it ever does.

It's about doing what you can, when you can, and how you can and giving the lord the glory for it no matter what... and when I realize I'm not perfect and truly accept it ... I am ok.

Words to Remember

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (Written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have sat on the lawn! With my grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's'; more 'I'm sorry's.' But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!! Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what Instead; let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.